I’m still here.

Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t cry. Not even once! Of course it helped that I was out  pretty much from morning to evening; being proactive in my own life. That’s something I NEED to do more often. (Duh, right?)

Today, I’ve been exhausted. Of course I was home all day (except for a quick trip to get McDonald’s, whoops).

I tell ya, grief is exhausting! It just takes so much out of you. I don’t feel like crying right now, but fuck am I wrung out.

It’s not just the grief & the guilt over my dad’s death. I feel guilty that I’m more devastated over my dad’s death than I was over my mom’s. Maybe because I still had my dad around when my mom passed. It could be that we all have favorite parents (and parents with more than one kid generally do pick favorites. We all know this). Either way, I feel like a shitty daughter.

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